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Degrees of Loss
UCSD Graduate Cares for Siblings After Mother's Death, Father's Illness
Ioana Patringenaru | June 18, 2007
A line of about 1,000 Marshall College graduates stretched endlessly under the scorching sun Saturday at RIMAC Field. Many walked with their parents, as the college’s tradition allows. A few, including Tsinsue Chen, walked with their siblings. Chen’s sister Connie and her brother Michael stood by her side, beaming, as she picked up her diploma. The 21-year-old senior says her siblings' support has been the key to her success. She is headed for the UCSD School of Medicine this fall.
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Tsinsue Chen received an Alumni Outstanding Senior
Award from Marshall Provost Allan Havis Saturday. |
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Chen, her two sisters and her brother have overcome a lot in the past eight years. They lost their mother to cancer. Then their father suffered a series of debilitating strokes.
Their grandparents, who don’t speak English, flew in from Taiwan to care for them and their father. Chen acts as a medical translator. She also often acts as the head of the Chen household. She shops for groceries. She doles out chores. She drives her siblings to school. She also worked part-time all the way through college. “It’s a lot of work,” she said. “But it’s well worth it.” Saturday, Marshall College rewarded Chen with an Alumni Outstanding Senior Award.
“I think she just has an incredible sense of commitment to her family and to her academic career,” said Ashanti Hands, Marshall’s dean of student affairs. “She knows what she wants and she will do what it takes to make that work.”
Commencements
Chen was one of about 5050 undergraduate students who took part in this year's commencement ceremonies. About 2000 seniors graduated Saturday from Muir and Marshall colleges. Another 2,200 graduated from Warren, Eleanor Roosevelt and Sixth colleges Sunday. Finally, about 830 Revelle students were last to graduate at 11 a.m. today.
Graduate students also had their share of festivities. Graduate ceremonies opened with the School of International Relations and Pacific Studies at 11 a.m. Saturday and ended with the Rady School of Management at 2 p.m. today. The Graduate Division held commencement ceremonies Sunday. Students from the UCSD School of Medicine and the Skaggs School of Pharmacy and Pharmaceutical Sciences graduated earlier this month.
Graduation speakers this year included philanthropist Michael Milken at Rady, Hollywood producer and UCSD alumnus Thom Sherman at Warren College and actor and UCSD alumnus James Avery at Marshall College.
“You can’t wait for the world to change,” Avery told the audience. “You have to direct that change. Make a world that your children will be proud to inhabit.”
Many Marshall students, including Chen, distinguished themselves by serving the community. Last year, more than 100 Marshall students volunteered at Gompers Charter Middle School, Chancellor Marye Anne Fox told the audience at the Marshall graduation Saturday. More than 120 students volunteered or interned each quarter at The Preuss School.
“You have much to be proud of,” Fox said.
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| Chancellor Marye Anne Fox spoke at the Marshall graduation. |
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In all, about a dozen Marshall students received awards for their accomplishments Saturday. Chen hugged some of her fellow award winners at the end of the graduation ceremony. It was exciting to be recognized with many peers she knew, she said. How does it feel to be a graduate? “It feels good,” she replied.
When asked what motivated her to juggle classes, family and work, she talked about her parents and her siblings. Her father and mother always put family first, she said. She wouldn't have come this far without their loving efforts, she added. Her siblings deserve an equally loving and nurturing childhood, even though their mother is gone and their father is disabled, she also said.
“I just need to see my brother and sisters being happy,” Chen said.
A delicate balancing act
She’ll do whatever it takes to reach that goal, she said -- and that has proven to be a complex balancing act. This past quarter, Chen juggled three classes, homework and caring for her siblings and her father. To manage her time efficiently, she grouped all her classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Some weeks, she didn't study at all. During midterms and finals she buckled down and studied for 10 to 15 hours a week, she said. She hasn’t yet pulled an all-nighter.
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| Tsinsue Chen (center) with sibllings Connie and Michael. |
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Chen carpools with other mothers from her youngest sister's middle school. Connie, 17, and Michael, 15, carpool to high school with neighbors. When she had classes, Chen drove to campus from her family’s Carmel Valley home. On her way back from class, she picked up 13-year-old Christy from softball practice and drove home. She then checked on her father and helped care for him. The family is between caregivers, so Chen, her siblings and her grandfather take turns feeding and washing him.
When she didn't have class, Chen ran and stretched for about an hour after dropping Christy off at school. Running really helps her feel good, both physically and mentally, she said. To better manage the household, Chen set up a chart dividing tasks. Every week, she meets with her siblings to divvy up the workload.
Chen started a different kind of family meeting, after her mother, Jan, passed away in September 1999. Back then, the four siblings met to talk about their feelings. Chen said she wanted to make sure they communicated. She also said her mother’s death was a turning point in her life. Jan Chen was kind, positive and determined, her oldest daughter recalls. After she was gone, Chen resolved to become a better person. Connie remembers that their mother cared for everyone, even while undergoing cancer treatments. She worked with immigrants to help them assimilate in the United States. Chen takes after her, Connie said.
A father's illness
Chen’s father, Kuo-tong, worked full time after his wife's death, so Chen, then 14, spent a lot of time caring for her younger siblings. When Connie was in eighth grade, she nominated her oldest sister for a citywide best mother award. Chen won. Her responsibilities increased in June 2000, when her father suffered two strokes, which left half of his body paralyzed. Chen spent most of that summer in the hospital, translating for her grandparents, who were now in charge. She is fluent in Mandarin and Taiwanese, but struggled with medical terms. She turned to adults for help. “I had to learn how to be resourceful,” she said. How did she and her siblings cope? “People underestimate how resilient and insightful young children can be,” she said. To this day, Chen said she feels she can’t fall apart. Her siblings dealt with their losses; so should she, she said.
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| Some graduates decorated their caps. |
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Chen missed a lot of school because of her father’s illness. But she graduated high school and enrolled at UCSD. She made up her mind to go to medical school in 2005, after her father suffered yet another stroke. Chen said the care he received and the physicians who treated him amazed her. She wanted to care for others, too, she decided. Her father’s doctors later became her mentors. Her UCSD education seemed to fit right in with her new career plans. “I am learning all these things and I see how it applies in real life,” she said.
She was taking a bacteriology class with Professor Emeritus Willie C. Brown when her father had a stroke in 2005. He soon came down with various infections, which Chen has studied in Brown’s class. She e-mailed the professor that she now understood her coursework a lot better. Chen then took medical microbiology with Brown in 2006. She kept her cell phone on vibrate at all times, Brown recalls. She sometimes left class. But she always completed her assignments on time and never asked for special treatment, Brown said. He admitted that Chen’s achievements under pressure baffle him. He has taught 10,000 to 15,000 students in his career and few could compare with her, he said.
"I don't know how she does it," he said. "I just think she's brilliant."
Brown later hired Chen as a teaching assistant for medical microbiology, precisely because of her ability to juggle a challenging home life and a demanding course load. “I wanted students to be exposed to an extraordinary peer role model,” he said. Chen hesitated at first, then took the job. "I thought it would be fun," she said. As a teaching assistant, Chen was compassionate and strived to help students, Brown recalls.
Plans for the future
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| About 5050 undergraduate students graduated this month. |
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This past year has been both bitter and sweet for Chen. Her father became quadriplegic in March after yet another stroke. But she learned she had been accepted to the UCSD School of Medicine on April 17. Applying was a difficult decision for her, she said. It meant her siblings would take on more responsibilities at home. But her brother and sisters knew she wouldn’t be happy unless she applied. Connie said she wouldn’t apply to college if Chen didn’t apply to medical school. "She really put so much into our family," said Connie, who will attend UCSD this fall. Still, Chen admitted she has trouble delegating. “I want to protect them,” she said.
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